Not Quite Platonic

pla·ton·ic - /pləˈtänik/
(of love or friendship) Intimate and affectionate but not sexual...in theory, on Craigslist, not so much. IN NO WAY AFFILIATED WITH craigslist, inc

OPEN MINDED BLK MALE WANTS TO MEET REPTILIAN OR PLEIADIAN FEMALE - m4w - 36 (Midtown)

YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME!Open minded, trustworthy black male wants to meet and become friends with a reptilian shapeshifter or pleiadian female.this is a serious ad I study the unknown mysteries and I know they exist.theres alot we can learn from each other on a friendship level.once again, YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME.

I find the image of aliens lurking around Craigslist simultaneously hilarious and sad.  

I also question how much these reptilian shapeshifters could learn from you.  I’m pretty sure you really just want to fuck an alien.

(Source: newyork.craigslist.org)

craigslist | new york | aliens | you just want to fuck an alien | unknown mysteries | shapeshifter | reptilian | craigslist | buffalo | fart | oddly specific | no old farts |

Breast Maniac Seek BREAST PLAY & Deep Smooching. - m4w - 45 (calgary)

Breast Maniac Seek BREAST PLAY & Deep Smooching.

Breast maniac seek breast play & best Smooching .
NOTE:
HOOKERS, PORN SITE PIMPS, AND ESCORTS BACK OFF.

OTHER RESPECTABLE LADIES PLEASE READ ON:

I am 45, Black, a breast maniac, non-smoker, Clean in all aspects. Looking for a woman who is clean, respectful and desirable. 
I will give your breast the best stimulation in the form of tender, soft teasing. And after a certain point when the breasts swell and enlarge, go a little softer to minimize pain. Your nipples will be teased and touched. 

I want you to see me run my thumb lightly under the space where they fall and use only my fingertips to caress your wonderful breasts; as I breathe warm air over your tender nipples and areola kissed. Would like to feel the “biscuit bone” in your rib cage and make you squirm again and again. 

Breasts have been celebrated, admired and envied throughout the ages. I am here to continue the act as a pro.



DO NOT RESPOND IF YOU BELONG TO ANY THE FOLLOWING:
1. A PIMP DIVERTING RESPONSES TO PORN WEB SITES.
2. IF YOUR INTENT IS TO SEND NUDE PICS.
3. IF YOU ARE AN ESCORT
Thx for viewing.

Yeah you hookers, back off, this is a serious post by a professional Breast Maniac, have some respect!  Thank goodness he pointed out he’s a non-smoker, because having your breasts fondled (and God knows what else) by a smoker would just be icky.

(Source: calgary.craigslist.ca)

craigslist | alberta | calgary | breast maniac | breasts | boobs | i'm a professional | deep smooching | no escorts | biscuit bone |

I’m a virgin, tempt me into losing all control of myself - m4w - 33 (Toronto)

image 1

I’m a virgin who doesn’t masturbate. I’m seeking a beautiful temptress who thinks she can make me have sex with her, arouse my lust for her to such an extent that I can’t help but tear her clothes off and have sex with her. We’ll do sexually arousing activities together, such as, yoga, indoor rock climbing, late night dinners, watch movies in the dark while cuddling each other, swimming, and so on. Only 30 and under send me your pic.

Hmmm, maybe you’re still a virgin because you think indoor rock climbing is a ‘sexually arousing activity’?  Regardless, I’m sure the breathtaking picture of your pasty, ever-so masculine physique combined with your patchy, pubic hair-esque facial hair will have all the under 30 temptresses beating down the door to your mom’s basement (where I assume you still live).

(Source: toronto.craigslist.ca)

craigslist | toronto | ontario | virgin | sexually arousing activities | yoga | rock climbing | swimming | temptress | tempt me | craigslist | toronto | mississauga | cold | creepy | threesome | gross | if you a lady | a/c |

RIBFEST FROLIC IN MY VAN!!! - m4w

DO U WANT TO BE ORALLY PLEASED
AND COMPENSATED AT RIBFEST 
TODAY? LETS EAT SOME RIBS AND THEN EAT 
YOU

Ribs AND oral??  In a van no less?  One at a time please ladies, I know this is an irresistible offer but there’s plenty of this fine specimen of a man to go around.  

One question though, is the compensation you speak of in ribs?

(Source: toronto.en.craigslist.ca)

craigslist | toronto | ribs | bbq | oral | van | frolic | gross | this vans a rockin |

White, 36, awesome shape, attached straight seeks straight guy - m4m - 36 (Scarborough)

36, white, straight, attached, 7” cut, super hot trim in shape body, super tight ass, long smooth legs, good looking, clean and disease and drugs free. 

I want a similar attached guy, almost any age, for fun. I’ve tried a bit of this and that before and I’m open to ideas as long as it’s super safe. 

I would like to watch each other jerk off, maybe try sitting on your hard cock and slip it into my little ass pussy!!! Anyway, give me a call or email if we can meet. 

I can’t host!

Hmmmmm, now I’m no expert, and certainly not one to judge, but having another man’s ‘hard cock’ slip in to your ‘little ass pussy’ might be pushing the boundaries of ‘straight’ to the limit.

(Source: toronto.en.craigslist.ca)

craigslist | toronto | scarborough | totally straight | totally not gay | ass pussy | straight? |

Stress relief on the bare - m4w - 46 (Toronto)

Frustrated? Working long hours with no play time? Pissed at your significant other? I’m available to listen over a drink or coffee while you vent. And if you’d like to blow off some stress by paddling my bare sensitive ass, feel free. My butt is firm, reddens nicely, and I deserve it. Handcuffs optional.

I too find no better way to blow off steam after a tough day than to have a nice dark roast from Starbucks followed by some paddling of a random internet man’s ass.  Really does the trick.  Kudos to you sir, for being so selfless to volunteer your bare, sensitive ass to the masses.

(Source: toronto.en.craigslist.ca)

craigslist | toronto | spanking | coffee | selfless | my butt is firm | handcuffs optional | seems normal |

omorashi - m4w - 25

im looking for a woman i can relate to on this subject. im not looking for a hook up, so please dont flag. 
i dont care your age race or how you look only that your a waman and share my fetish.

Do you like to wait as long as you can to use the restroom when you have to pee? do you enjoy how it feels when you have a full bladder? do you ever purposely hold it as long as you can? have you ever had an “accident” because you held too long? do you like the feeling you get when you finally do go? do you like seeing yourself or someone else doing “the dance?”
ever been too embarrassed by these things to tell anyone? well these are things i wont judge you for. i like these feelings myself.

I just don’t know any more.

(Source: boulder.craigslist.org)

craigslist | colorado | boulder | pee | pissing | full bladder | fetish | what | hold it | stop the internet i want to get off | do the dance | why | what the fuck | craigslist | toronto | fetish | underarm | sensual | erotic | creepy as fuck | gross | smelly |